Discipleship is Friendship

When we are in the Philippines, Monday is my day off. But not today, because I was the opening speaker at our Leader Summit '07, this morning.

As soon as I stepped into the room and saw hundreds of Filipino students wholeheartedly worshiping God, my mind raced back to 1984 when we first came to Manila to start a church that would reach Manila's University-Belt. God sure had bigger plans than I did. I am glad I stayed out of His way enough to get our church where it is today.

The 800 student leaders in that room this morning will all be facilitating discipleship groups on their campuses when school starts in 2 weeks. Our ENCM-Philippines staff is doing a great job of equipping and empowering students to make disciples.

As I was driving to the meeting this morning, I though back to my college days - a long time ago! Most of what I had then, I no longer have. My white Toyota Celica. My black Yamaha motorcycle. My Guild guitar. My hair. All gone. Never to be seen again.

About the only thing I still have from those days are my friends.

I reminded the 800 student leaders what Joey Bonifacio has preached and blogged a million times - that discipleship is relationship.

Joey is right about that. The best discipleship flows out of and produces the best relationships. Discipleship is not a class to take. It is not a program to make a church bigger. It is not a doctrine to learn.

Discipleship is relationship.

But, what kind of relationship? Some relationships are life-giving, others are life-draining. Some are healthy, others are dysfunctional. I think a healthy discipleship relationship should be a Christ-centered friendship.  

Friendship discipleship may sound good, but is that how Jesus did discipleship? I think so.

Consider the following verses.

- In John 15:13-15, Jesus referred to his disciples as friends.
- In John 21:5, he called some struggling  disciples (back-slidders?) his friends.
- In Luke 7:34, the religious leaders described him as a "friend of sinners".

Solid disciples. Struggling disciples. Sinners. Jesus treated them like friends.

In fact, it seems like the only people who weren't his friends were the self-righteous, judgmental hypocrites. The Pharisees and Sadducees. The religious critics who were professionals at tearing people down rather than building them up.

If Jesus treated his disciples - the ones who were following him and the ones who were running from him - like friends, then don't you think we should do the same?

Discipleship should be Christ-centered friendship.

And, if we do friendship-based discipleship like Jesus did, 30 years later we may not have our college car, waste-line or hairline, but we will still have our friends.   

 

Comments

[Wayne]

Why do 80-90% of those making a decision for Christ fall away from the faith?

http://www.livingwaters.com/learn/hellsbestkeptsecret.htm

[Pastor Bob Kraft]

This is the first blog that I read everyday. Thank you for your Godly wisdom. I am now in Paris and anywhere we go we can plug in.

[Thelma Bowlen]

the friendships that i treasure the most are the ones i've made in church. these are my friends who do not shrink back when i need correcting; friends who challenge me to know God more; friends who love me no matter what.

knowing we are figuring out faith and life and all things Jesus together is one of my greatest joys. it's high on my list right next to parenting.

[yinka]

Couldn't agree less. How we need a Christ-centered friendship! This article further sheds light on this thing called 'Discipleship is relationship' Thanks Ps Steve. Yinka

[Malou Tabelisma]

Eben and I were part of this group of friends that came out of his Calvary Bible school class so many years ago. We all came from different churches (sort of representing different parts of the Body of Christ I'd like to think) and we'd get together every other Wednesday and brainstorm about the next outreach project (dental, medical, film-showing missions) in some barrio where we are called to help a church reach out to their neighbors. The people in this group came from different backgrounds, even different churches, but when we came together it was like being with brothers and sisters. We'd share each other’s burdens, make fun of each other (I did say like brothers and sisters), share the simplest of food, and pray for each other. It's been 16 years since we all got together and this July, when we come to visit, we'll see them again. And just like 2 years ago during our last visit, it'll be like coming home to brothers and sisters again.

Christ-centered friendship spans distances and time. They sure endure like you said and, like diamonds, the more they endure, the more precious they become.

[yinka]

*oops! sorry, I meant "I couldn't agree more":)

[juan dela cruz]

i agree that frienship is to be Christ centered, some so called CHRISTIAN are superficial and if only they will gain something from you then your a friend if not your nothing, that is why apostle paul reminds Christian to be carefull and loving to a friend through good times and bad times. but i believe its personal choice of a person, what pastor and leader should be more sensitive so the body of Christ will benefit.
God Bless

[d. Monk]

I would like to hear more on this specfic subject. For years this has been my approach to evangelism and discipleship...and @ this point, most of my relationships seem to be one sided...unless I initiate....nothing happens. Isn't there an ebb and flow to a healthy friendship...even just a little? would it be accurate to say, that if there is no "flow" (the other person taking some initiative in the relationship, it's not a "friendship" just a mission field? I'm probably rambling..any good books you might recommend?