the reluctant leader

Discipleship is Friendship

When we are in the Philippines, Monday is my day off. But not today, because I was the opening speaker at our Leader Summit '07, this morning.

As soon as I stepped into the room and saw hundreds of Filipino students wholeheartedly worshiping God, my mind raced back to 1984 when we first came to Manila to start a church that would reach Manila's University-Belt. God sure had bigger plans than I did. I am glad I stayed out of His way enough to get our church where it is today.

The 800 student leaders in that room this morning will all be facilitating discipleship groups on their campuses when school starts in 2 weeks. Our ENCM-Philippines staff is doing a great job of equipping and empowering students to make disciples.

As I was driving to the meeting this morning, I though back to my college days - a long time ago! Most of what I had then, I no longer have. My white Toyota Celica. My black Yamaha motorcycle. My Guild guitar. My hair. All gone. Never to be seen again.

About the only thing I still have from those days are my friends.

I reminded the 800 student leaders what Joey Bonifacio has preached and blogged a million times - that discipleship is relationship.

Joey is right about that. The best discipleship flows out of and produces the best relationships. Discipleship is not a class to take. It is not a program to make a church bigger. It is not a doctrine to learn.

Discipleship is relationship.

But, what kind of relationship? Some relationships are life-giving, others are life-draining. Some are healthy, others are dysfunctional. I think a healthy discipleship relationship should be a Christ-centered friendship.  

Friendship discipleship may sound good, but is that how Jesus did discipleship? I think so.

Consider the following verses.

- In John 15:13-15, Jesus referred to his disciples as friends.
- In John 21:5, he called some struggling  disciples (back-slidders?) his friends.
- In Luke 7:34, the religious leaders described him as a "friend of sinners".

Solid disciples. Struggling disciples. Sinners. Jesus treated them like friends.

In fact, it seems like the only people who weren't his friends were the self-righteous, judgmental hypocrites. The Pharisees and Sadducees. The religious critics who were professionals at tearing people down rather than building them up.

If Jesus treated his disciples - the ones who were following him and the ones who were running from him - like friends, then don't you think we should do the same?

Discipleship should be Christ-centered friendship.

And, if we do friendship-based discipleship like Jesus did, 30 years later we may not have our college car, waste-line or hairline, but we will still have our friends.   

 

I Love the Church!

It seems to be popular these days to criticize the church. Some who have given up on organized church are even being hailed as "revolutionaries" by pollster George Barna.

I guess I am not much of a revolutionary since I freely admit that I love and need the local church.

Why do I love the church? Because almost every good thing in my life came through the church.

- I first heard the gospel at First Presbyterian Church.
- I Got filled with the Holy Spirit at New Covenant Church.
- I met my wife and got involved in world missions at Maranatha Christian Church.
- I raised my sons at Victory Christian Fellowship.
- I get to work with my best friends at an organization called Every Nation Churches.

I thank God for the church. The organized church. Even organized churches that are a bit disorganized. And, I  thank God for the the flawed churches like 1st Pres, New Covenant, Maranatha, Victory and Every Nation that helped shape my life. They are not perfect, but that didn't stop God from working on me through them.

The NBA used to have a commercial that featured spectacular dunks, ankle-breaking cross-overs, celebrity fans and buzzer-beaters. At the end of the commercial, players and fans would look into the camera and shout: "I LOVE THIS GAME!"

The news often shows the darker side of the NBA: drug suspensions, out-of-wedlock children, drunk driving arrests, strip club violence, etc. Some fans got so sick of the dark side that they began to vocalize their hate for the NBA, the game of basketball and all the players.

Others simply switched the channel and watched a respectable sport like wrestling. 

The are many church people who are following the example of the NBA-haters and channel-switchers. Some are so offended by religious scandals that they end up criticizing and attacking everything church. Others are so sick of religious hypocrisy that they roll their eyes and switch the channel anytime church is mentioned.   

Not me. I still love the Church. I love my church. And, I love the church down the street that has a different name and style. I still believe the church is or has the answer to almost every question or problem out there.

What about you? Do you still love the church?

I think God does.

Becoming a Christ-Like Leader

Evangelicals Today publisher and editor, Bishop Ef Tendero, always faxes a deadline and topic reminder to my office that includes this line: "You may write on any aspect of the theme, but should the Lord lead you to write on another topic, please feel free to do so."

I have been a columnist for the Evangelicals Today magazine since 1993, and in those 14 years I think I have written on the assigned topic three times, maybe.

This month's topic is "Becoming a Christlike Leader." While I did not exactly write on the theme for the July ET issue, I have been thinking about what it means to be a Christlike leader.

Here are some of my thoughts about Jesus' leadership style.

- Jesus led people not programs. Therefore, if we want to be Christlike leaders, we must learn to relate to and lead people. I think my friend, Joey B has it right when he constantly says that "discipleship is relationship." I will add that leadership is relationship.

- Jesus asked more questions than He answered. By asking questions He made people think. He never came across as a know-it-all, even though He actually knew it all. If we want to lead like Jesus led, we must learn to ask the right questions, and we must shut up long enough to let people answer.

- Jesus gave lots of second chances. Everyone Jesus led made mistakes, yet He never seemed to give up on them. He often corrected them, but he didn't give up on them. If we want to become Christlike leaders, we must accept that the people we led (and their leaders - that would be us) will fall, fail, make bad decisions and do dumb things. We must also learn to forgive 490 times. And we must give people second, third and fourth chances.

- Jesus was not afraid to offend or to be misunderstood. He preached, ministered and lived to please One and only One. He said and did what He felt was right from heaven's perspective, no matter what anyone on earth thought about it. If we are to be Christlike leaders, we must lead to please God, not man.

- Jesus served those He led. He washed their feet. This is the exact opposite of how many in the corporate and political world model leadership. Unfortunately, the serve-me leadership style has also crept into the church.  If we want to lead like Jesus led, we must have the attitude of servants.   

Jesus was the greatest leader ever, and these are just a few reasons why. I think I have a long way to go before I even come close to being a Christlike leader. But, since He gives multiple second chances, I will keep trying, I will keep changing, and I will keep leading.         

 

Leadership is...Getting Out of the Way

I recently realized that at some point in my life - and I'm not exactly sure when - but a major shift happened in the way I approach ministry, leadership and maybe life in general. 

I used to be obsessed with trying to learn to be a good leader.

Since I am not a "natural" leader, I knew I had to somehow obtain those elusive leadership skills. So, I read leadership books. I took seminary classes. I studies church, political and business leaders. I sought mentors. All of this helped, I think. But it seems like I still had to learn most of my lasting leadership lessons the hard way - by taking a risk, falling flat on my face, getting up and trying again.   

As time went on, leadership books and seminary classes gradually started to bore me. I was no longer pumped about being a better leader. I am not sure whether that is good or bad, but that is the truth.

I got bored with Kouzes & Posner, Noel Tichy, Jim Collins, Robert Clinton, Aubry Malphurs, Patrick Lencioni, Hanz Finzel, John Maxwell and all the other leadership gurus and their books. I just couldn't take another paragraph about leadership.

Again, I don't know when or why it happened, but my new obsession became, not how to be a better leader, but how to help those around me become better leaders.

Once I got bored with leadership books and my obsession changed, it didn't take long for me to realize that in order to help others become better leaders, I would sometimes have to get out of their way so they could actually lead - so they could take a risk, so they could fall flat on their faces, so they could start over and try again, and again, and again.

To become better leaders people need the freedom to succeed and fail without our interference or intervention. With all due respect to the leadership books and seminary classes, I think I really learned leadership through trial and error and trying again.

I remember a t-shirt I had back when No Fear was a cool new brand. It said something like this: "Lead, Follow, or Get the #&$%@* Out of the Way!"

I think those No Fear people were on to something with that "get out of the way" line. For several years I have been trying the "stay out of the way" leadership development strategy, in order to help those around me become the best leaders they can be.

That seemed to be what Jesus was hinting at when He told his disciples that it was better for them that He go away. They had a hard time with that plan, but it worked out OK, their countless leadership mistakes notwithstanding.

All that to say, Leadership is...Getting Out of the Way.

 

 

Leadership & the Fear of God

Last week our church, Victory Christian Fellowship (Fort Boni congregation), hosted a political Q & A forum to allow a church member who is running for the Philippine Senate to answer some questions about her political past, about her spiritual experience and about her vision for the future.

My friend, Cito Beltran - nationally known radio, TV and print journalist - did his "straight talk" thing, asking some tough questions.

Here's a little background for my non-Filipino readers before I get to the point.

Senator Tessie Aquino-Oreta is the youngest sister of martyred Philippine hero, Ninoy Aquino. The Manila airport and about a million schools and streets are named after Ninoy. Tessie, the mother of 5, served in congress 11 years before being elected to the Senate. She decided not to seek re-election after the infamous 2001 "dancing queen" scandal during the impeachment proceedings of former President Estrada. This humiliating political free-fall caused her to cry out to God in desperation. After a year of attending a small group Bible study led by some Victory people, she turned her life over to Christ and started on a new journey of faith. As her faith grew, she felt that the Lord wanted her to get back in the political arena.

That brings us to the Q & A forum at the Every Nation building in the Fort with Cito B asking the questions. Here's the question that prompted this blog:

CITO: "You served in the Senate before you gave your life to Jesus. Now that you are a Believer, you are seeking re-election. How does being a Christian make one a better senator?"

SENATOR TESSIE: "Being a Christian makes me fear God. Before, I often thought of me first. Now I just want to please God - to put a smile of His face."

Whether we are running for a political office, working in an office, or addicted to watching "The Office" - we all need a healthy dose of the fear of the Lord.

As long as we think "me first", we will constantly make dumb decisions. But as soon as we embrace the fear of the Lord, we will start making wise decisions because the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

Lord, please give us leaders - political, church, family leaders - who walk in the fear of God, who live to put a smile on your face.

(Since I am heading to the beach with my family tomorrow, there will be no new posts here until next week.)

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Other blogs about Philippine politics:

Click HERE for Joey B's blog, "Who Danced on National TV and Embarrassed Herself"'.

Click HERE for my blog, "7 Seconds Destroyed my Political Career".

Click HERE for my blog, "Warning: Politics!"

Cheap Jeans, Expensive Cars & Church Leadership

On my way to work yesterday, (believe it or not, pastors do have 'real' jobs and some actually GO TO work) I saw a what I thought was a strange sight that made me laugh.

A yellow Lamborghini with a huge Dickies Jeans bumper sticker was parked on the side of the road next to a dilapidated taxi and smog-belching jeepney.

I'm not really a car guy, but I know that yellow Italian sports cars as wide as Hummers that ride 2 centimeters from the ground are kinda expensive - like a 3 bedroom home in Nashville or a condo in Manila (or a Ulysse Nardin perpetual calendar minute repeater tourbillon - that last comparison was for Sam W & Ron M).

I've seen a yellow Lamborghini before, just never with a huge a Dickies Jeans bumper sticker. And, I've seen a Dickies bumper sticker - on a muddy Ford F-150 in Nashville - but never on a $250,000 sports car.

Because I was in a hurry, I resisted the temptation to stop and remove the sticker. It just didn't look right on that car. Dickies and Lamborghini don't go together.

Back in the day when I was relevant, Levis were cool. Dickies were not. In fact, Dickies used to be cheap work pants that no self-respecting cool person would be caught dead in. I know the world has changed a lot lately, and Dickies are in - probably because a teenage billionaire gangster rapper wore them on some MTV awards show.

Knowing that bit of fashion history should explain why I felt compelled to free the Lamborghini from the hideous Dickies sticker.

Now for the leadership lesson. Just as you don't expect to see an ugly bumper sticker advertising cheap pants on an overpriced Italian sports car, you also should not expect to see pastors, preachers and Christian leaders wearing pride and arrogance like a bumper sticker.

When I passed the car with the sticker yesterday, I was on my way to a meeting with about 100 of our Metro Manila pastors and preachers. We meet together weekly to try to become better preachers and better leaders and better Christians.

As we talked about the dangers of pride, arrogance and self-reliance, I quoted Andy Stanley:

"Nobody is arrogant or insincere or slick on purpose. But it happens all the time."

We all agreed that we all need friends who will help us spot and remove all bumper stickers that make us look ridiculous - things that are out of place in a preacher's life - things like arrogance and pride.

The painful process of leadership development continues in all of us.