the reluctant leader

Learning from Other Churches and Movements

My first year in the Philippines – 24  years ago – I was young and clueless about church planting, ministry and life in general. But I had a big vision and wanted to establish the kind of church that would eventually make a difference in my community (U-Belt), my new city (Metro Manila), the Philippines and the world.

At the time I was part of a bold church planting and campus ministry. Most of our churches and campus ministries were small. For some reason, I knew I was called to reach thousands, but very few churches in our movement had 100 members.

So I had to learn from others.

Since I had no idea how to plant a church that would reach 1000s and influence our community and culture, I visited seemingly "happening" churches in my quest to learn how to “break the missional code” in Manila. I visited several veteran Filipino pastors and foreign missionaries, and asked them questions about doing ministry in the Philippines.

Some really helped me. Some were too busy to see me. Others had more security than royalty and rock stars, so I could not get to them.

(NOTE: I'm sure those mega-church leaders would have gladly spent time with a 24 year-old clueless church planter, if only their pit-bull PAs had told them I needed help. Maybe that experience is why, today, I'd rather spend time with a pastor of a small church than a mega-church pastor.)

As I interviewed pastors and studied their ministries, I learned a lot about what to do and what not to do. But maybe the most important lesson was the realization that there was so much to learn from other churches and movements. That wasn't really how the ministry I was in did things in those days. Others learned from us - or that seemed to be the prevailing attitude. 

I always encourage our new church planters and campus missionaries to visit the healthy growing churches and ministries in their cities before they start their ministries. Why try to reinvent the wheel? Find someone in your area who was "cracked the code" and learn from them. Don't compromise your vision and values, but learn all you can from others, then apply your vision and values to your context.   

Next reluctant leader blog will be about what I learned from my recent 10 day trip to Australia ministering to the pastors and leaders of the Christian Outreach Center church planting movement.   

How Did I Get So Busy?

Here's one from the archives. I think I wrote this for Evangelicals Today magazine 7 or 8 years ago. I edited it - basically cut it in half. Hope it helps you get off to a good start in 2008.

How did I get so busy? A few years ago, I was "just a nice guy trying to help people" through a small campus ministry at Mississippi State University.  Now, I’m this stressed-out guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Who put all that weight there anyway?

Ever feel that way -- like that guy at the circus trying to keep all those plates spinning? Ever feel you can’t possibly do it all? If you’ve been in ministry more than a few years, I’m sure you have.

Somehow in the midst of my worry, God helped me refocus on what really matters and what absolutely has to be done the next twelve months - and there’s not all that much that has to be done.

When it comes to the ministry, for me, there are basically four things I have to do:

Read the Bible. This is the starting point not just for success in ministry, but for success in all of life because God’s word is useful not just for church stuff, but so we may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16,17). I will be prosperous and successful to the degree that I daily read, meditate on and apply God’s word to my life (Joshua 1:8). 

Pray. If nothing else gets done, this must. If I can’t personally go to Bangladesh, Afghanistan, or Iran in the next twelve months, I can certainly pray for our missionaries, as they minister in some of the most difficult nations in the world.

Make disciples. This is so obvious that many pastors miss it. I often ask pastors: "Specifically, who are you currently discipling?" Unfortunately, some can’t really answer this question because they think they are discipling the whole congregation. No wonder we are so stressed. Jesus only discipled twelve. Making disciples is about helping specific people follow Jesus. It cannot be general or random and it cannot be done in huge groups. If we have a shortage of leaders, ministers, or missionaries, it is because we have failed to make disciples.

Train leaders. The measure of success for me is not how many show up on Sunday, but how many leaders are equipped and empowered. The goal is not to fill the building with warm bodies, but to fill those warm bodies with God’s fire. Like disciple making, leadership training must be deliberate and specific.

I can’t do everything that needs to be done this year. But I can read my Bible, pray, make disciples, and equip leaders. If I do these four, all the other stuff will take care of itself.

Here's the original unedited version.

There is No Easy Button

I’ve had these thoughts on my mind and in my journal since my "Ever Feel Like Quitting?" blog about Joseph & Mary, but I’ve been too busy to post. So finally, here it goes…

Easy and right are usually opposites. The easy choice for Joseph would have been to dump his pregnant fiancé and move on with his life.

The right choice was to listen to the Holy Spirit and stick with Mary.

It didn’t matter how many times Joseph tried to explain that the baby was from God, no one believed him. Most rolled their eyes or looked with a self-righteous smirk.

All his buddies thought Joseph was either guilty or stupid for believing such a wild story. And they all thought Mary was guilty. That much was obvious.

But sometimes the obvious is not the truth. 

And, sometimes the easy thing to do, is not the right thing to do.

Lord, help us see beyond the obvious and help us do what is right even when it is not easy.

Spitting on 1st Graders

Here’s another hero blog...

I met some real live heroes yesterday. Right here in Nashville. And I was impressed.

Harold, a tall timid dignified man, stood and quietly told his story - a sad story of being spit on and cursed. It happened 50 years ago, but he recounted the events as if they happened yesterday. As he spoke, I had a hard time understanding why a mob of adults would threaten a six-year-old schoolboy. I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of men my age throwing rocks at a 1st grader and his rail-thin mother as they walked to school.

Barbara told similar stories from her 1st grade experience. But hers made us all laugh, and cry. She could land a gig on Last Comic Standing. Barbara said that some people turned their dogs loose on her as she walked to school. She talked about the day “they” tried to burn her house down, and the time “they” dynamited her uncle’s tool shed. Never said who “they” were. She ended her story talking about how her godly Dad prayed with her and read the Bible to her every night at bedtime. (The power of praying parents - someone should write a book about that.)   

Harold, Barbara and all the others spoke of strong families and stronger faith. They all talked about the role of the community and the church during those difficult days in Nashville 50 years ago.

The meeting was filled with laughter and tears, forgiveness and faith - but no self-pity and no anger. I was amazed that there was not a hint of bitterness or hatred in the room. I’m afraid that I would have been filled with both. But not these people, they were history-makers and heroes, not victims.

Their stories are a testimony to the wickedness of man and the grace of God.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget those 90 minutes at American Baptist College yesterday. The program was called: “Walking into History: 50 Years of Desegregation in Nashville."

Here’s how the event brochure described it:

“On September 9, 1957, sixteen African-American children were officially enrolled in the first grade at six Nashville elementary schools that previously had admitted only white children. Thus began a long journey toward racial equality in the public schools of this city, after more than a century of legally and socially imposed segregation.” 

Harold and Barbara were two of those sixteen pioneers. It was an honor and an eye-opener to hear their stories.

And, it is a privilege to be part of a church that is deeply committed to racial reconciliation.

Click HERE to read more about the "16 Little Pioneers" who changed public education in Nashville.

For Those Who Hate Decision-Making

Too many leaders don’t like to make tough decisions; they prefer to pass the buck. I’m like that. I’d rather someone else - anyone else - make the difficult and unpopular decisions.

We all have to learn, that once the decision-making authority has been delegated to us, we must make the decision. We can’t just pass the buck back where it came from.    

During a recent meeting with Jerome Ocampo, the JesusRev guy, I realized that either I had not properly empowered some of our leaders, or that those leaders had opted out of leadership for the moment.

Here’s what happened. Jerome asked me if Victory – my local church in Manila – would promote some upcoming JesusRev events. I told him that I do not make those decisions for Victory, that Victory has twelve congregations in Metro Manila and that each pastor is empowered to make decisions for their congregation. And, I told him that we have two national youth organizations that may be willing to promote the events, Every Nation Campus Ministries-Philippines and Every Nation Youth-Philippines, but again, I don’t make those decisions.

Jerome told me that he had already spoken to a couple of these Victory and Every Nation leaders and was told that they would have to talk to me about it.

I thought I had clearly delegated the authority to them, but they told Jerome that they needed my permission. Either I had failed to communicate clearly or someone had decided to pass the buck back to me. Either way, I recognized a leadership development moment. 

Like many, Jerome assumed that in order to get something done, he had to go to the top – that would be me. But, I refused to usurp the decision-making authority I had already delegated. I guess I could have saved Jerome the trouble of tracking down twelve congregational pastors and two national directors by making the decision myself. But in the long run, every time a leader delegates authority, then makes the decision himself, he creates confusion and kills morale.

Here’s the deal: once you delegate, you gotta get your hands off. It's not the end of the world, if a young leader makes a dumb decision. Every emerging leader needs the freedom to make some bad decisions. Every established leader needs to get out of the way long enough to let next generation leaders make some bad decisions.

All next generation leaders need to boldly make the decisions that have been delegated to them. Don’t pass the difficult or unpopular decisions back to the top. Make the decision. If it turns out to be the wrong decision, admit it and learn from it. If it is right, thank God for his wisdom.

So, which was it - did I fail to communicate clearly, or did those I delegated to pass the buck back to me? Probably a bit of both.

Leading WITH the Next Generation

A few blogs ago - seems like a month ago - I summarized the 2007 Every Nation World Conference in 5 statements:
    1. We are called to the ends of the earth.
    2. We need the power & presence of the Holy Spirit.
    3. We must remember the poor.
    4. We must empower the next generation.
    5. "All we need is love."

Here are my quick thoughts on point #4...

We must empower the next generation.

There seems to be an endless debate on the culture clash between established leaders and emerging leaders, especially in the church world. (If this "emerging leader" phrase is new to you, think "spiritual generation gap" - to the 10th power.)   

Some of the stuff I read makes the situation look pretty hopeless. But when I read the Bible, which says there is nothing new under the sun, I find hope that 2 generations can work and lead together.

Paul & Timothy. Elijah & Elisha. Moses & Joshua.

And there was King Saul and David, at least for a couple of chapters. I know we don't usually hold King Saul up as a model leader, but when in terms of empowering next generation leaders there is much to  learn from him. (See 1 Samuel 17:38-40) 

Saul gave David his armor to fight Goliath. David's generation had their own way of fighting giants - sticks, stones and slings. That was OK with Saul. So, with a stick in one hand and a sling in the other, David planted a stone in Goliath's head.

Here are some leadership lessons established and emerging leaders must learn if we hope to slay the modern giants that mock our God:

- Like Saul who thought he was helping and protecting David, established leaders often force our armor on the next generation.

- Like most emerging leaders, David was not comfortable fighting in Saul's armor.

- Unlike many established leaders, Saul actually LISTENED TO the next generation's complaints and EMPOWERED David to choose a style he was comfortable with.

- Unlike many emerging leaders, David RESPECTFULLY declined Saul's armor. David did not sarcastically blog about and trash the armor. He simply said HE was not comfortable in it. 

My generation knows how to teach and lead the next generation. If we are serious about reaching the ends of the earth, we can learn much from Saul & David about how to LISTEN TO and LEAD WITH the next generation.

The fact is, emerging leaders will be established leaders sooner than later, and they will have to figure out how to LEAD WITH the next group of emerging leaders, who will probably think the old way of doing church is irrelevant and outdated.

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This blog made me laugh.
This site really made me laugh.

Purpose-Driven Help for the Reluctant Evangelist

While on the cross-trainer in the gym this morning, Purpose-Driven guru Rick Warren said something that  really helped me. (Rick was not in my gym, but he was in my iPod via his podcast.)

As always, Rick was talking about reaching the lost, on purpose. Not random acts of evangelism on unsuspecting strangers. Not manipulative ambush evangelism. Not door to door harassment evangelism. We're talking about Purpose-Driven evangelism. What else would you expect from the Pope of Purpose?

When the interviewer asked Rick what evangelism program Saddleback Church uses, Rick said they have never used an evangelism program. Rather, they simply encourage their people to figure out what they love to do - basketball, biking, poker, antique shopping.

Once they know what they love to do, they are encouraged to do that stuff with unchurched people, rather than with Christians only.

If we are just average at being Christians, and if we spend time developing relationships with the lost, it is just a matter of time until we have a natural relational opportunity to introduce our non-churched friends to Christ.

Novel idea, hanging out with lost people. If we make a habit of this, we might one day he accused of  being friends of sinners, or something horrible like that.

Becoming a Christ-Like Leader

Evangelicals Today publisher and editor, Bishop Ef Tendero, always faxes a deadline and topic reminder to my office that includes this line: "You may write on any aspect of the theme, but should the Lord lead you to write on another topic, please feel free to do so."

I have been a columnist for the Evangelicals Today magazine since 1993, and in those 14 years I think I have written on the assigned topic three times, maybe.

This month's topic is "Becoming a Christlike Leader." While I did not exactly write on the theme for the July ET issue, I have been thinking about what it means to be a Christlike leader.

Here are some of my thoughts about Jesus' leadership style.

- Jesus led people not programs. Therefore, if we want to be Christlike leaders, we must learn to relate to and lead people. I think my friend, Joey B has it right when he constantly says that "discipleship is relationship." I will add that leadership is relationship.

- Jesus asked more questions than He answered. By asking questions He made people think. He never came across as a know-it-all, even though He actually knew it all. If we want to lead like Jesus led, we must learn to ask the right questions, and we must shut up long enough to let people answer.

- Jesus gave lots of second chances. Everyone Jesus led made mistakes, yet He never seemed to give up on them. He often corrected them, but he didn't give up on them. If we want to become Christlike leaders, we must accept that the people we led (and their leaders - that would be us) will fall, fail, make bad decisions and do dumb things. We must also learn to forgive 490 times. And we must give people second, third and fourth chances.

- Jesus was not afraid to offend or to be misunderstood. He preached, ministered and lived to please One and only One. He said and did what He felt was right from heaven's perspective, no matter what anyone on earth thought about it. If we are to be Christlike leaders, we must lead to please God, not man.

- Jesus served those He led. He washed their feet. This is the exact opposite of how many in the corporate and political world model leadership. Unfortunately, the serve-me leadership style has also crept into the church.  If we want to lead like Jesus led, we must have the attitude of servants.   

Jesus was the greatest leader ever, and these are just a few reasons why. I think I have a long way to go before I even come close to being a Christlike leader. But, since He gives multiple second chances, I will keep trying, I will keep changing, and I will keep leading.         

 

Q&A: Why is this Blog Called the Reluctant Leader?

 

Someone named Jonathan recently asked: “Just wondering, why do you call this blog the 'reluctant leader'?" 

I wrote about my blog title on my first post a few months ago, but I still get this question all the time. So, here is another shot at explaining my reluctant leader blog. 

The “reluctant leader” is simply a description of me, and the way I have always approached life and leadership. I am not sure it is the best way to do leadership; it’s just the way I do it.

Paul said it is “noble” to desire a leadership office or position. (1Tim3:1)

As noble as it may be, it has never been me. Maybe it means I am not very noble, but I much prefer the back row to the front row. While some are natural born leaders, following is more natural to me.

The pages of the Bible are filled with leaders who are the opposite of reluctant. They were eager, aggressive, bold and brave. King Saul. Apostle Paul. Joseph. Jacob. Joshua. Elijah. Elisha. Peter.

Not me.

I tend to approach leadership more like:
    - Gideon – hiding in fear
    - Timothy – insecure & timid
    - Jonah – the original running man
    - Moses – “O Lord, please send someone else.” (Ex4:13)

But for some strange reason, I seem to always find myself in leadership positions. Looking back, I am not sure how or why, but somehow I think it was usually God’s will that got me there. 

I stumbled on this quote yesterday, about leadership “sneaking up” on us:

“Early in our careers, few of us list ‘being a great leader’ as one of our goals. Leadership roles tend to sneak up on us, and suddenly others are looking at us, hoping to find reasons to follow our lead." (Lynette Lewis in “Climbing the Ladder in Stilettos”. Its my wife’s book, ok.)

I am learning not to run when leadership positions sneak up on me.

A Reluctant Leader from Down Under

Our church recently had the privilege of hosting the father/son team of Kevin and Mark Conner. This dynamic duo from Down Under did tag-team ministry during our March "LeaderLectures" at the Every Nation Leadership Institute in Fort Bonifacio, Philippines.

Though Mark grew up as a preacher's kid - a PK - he did not always see himself being a senior pastor of a huge church. (Pastor Kevin does not like the PK label so he says Mark is his T.O. or his "theological offspring".)

Mark started out his ministry career, not as a senior pastor, but as a piano player on the worship team, eventually serving as worship leader. He was content being a worship leader and did not see it as a stepping stone to a higher more important position.

After a few years he was asked to serve as the youth pastor. He accepted this position because he saw the importance and urgency of ministering to young people. A few more years passed and Mark was functioning as the church's business manager, because there was a need and he seemed to have the right skills to do the job. Next stop was associate pastor overseeing small groups.

Then, twelve years ago, Mark was asked to serve as senior pastor of CityLife Church, receiving the leadership baton from living legend, Kevin Connor, who received the baton from the founding pastor, Richard Holland.

So, Mark now leads a church where both former senior ministers are members. Unfortunately, in our dysfunctional generation, situations like this seem to be extremely rare.   What a great example to see three generations of leaders honoring one another, working together and cheering each other on.

Founding pastor, 87 year-old Richard Holland, says it like this: "I was good. Kevin was better. Mark is the best." Senior pastor number two, 80 year-old Kevin Conner says it like this: "We promised Richard a salary for life, we just didn't realize he would live so long."   

What can reluctant leaders everywhere learn from this humble pastor, who now leads one of the largest most influential churches in Australia?

Lesson 1. Leadership is about serving, not grabbing titles.

Lesson 2. Leadership is about meeting needs, not doing what we enjoy the most.

Lesson 3. Leadership is about growing, not staying in our comfort zone.

Lesson 4. Leadership is recognizing and honoring fathers, not arrogantly assuming we are smart enough to accomplished all this alone without any help from those who went before us.

(By the way, Kevin Conner is another 'reluctant leader' who never fought for recognition, titles or position. He one of the finest Christians I have ever known. I want to be like him when I grow up. He is amazing, still going strong at 80, circling the globe teaching God's word and doing his stand-up comedy routine.)