the reluctant leader

Top 10 Reasons People Quit Church

Note to pastors and youth ministers who choose to live in denial: the following stats do not apply to you, only to other churches and other youth groups that are not as spiritual, strategic, relevant, cool, committed or emerging as you are.

The American church loses 70% of its 18 and 22 year olds. That’s scary. Think about your youth group, the teens in your church and in your family - by the time they are 22 years old - 70% will no longer go to church.

There’s a lot of talk about reaching the “un-churched” – but what about the “de-churched” who walked away from the church of their parents? Thousands of young people used to go attend church, but not any more. Why?

According to research in a soon to be released book by Thom Rainer (the Simple Church dude), here are the top 10 reasons young Americans quit church.

10. I was only going to church to please others.

9. I want to spend more time with my friends.

8. I disagreed with the church’s stance on political or social issues.

7. I didn’t feel connected with the people in my church.

6. I became too busy.

5. I moved too far away.

4. My work responsibilities prevented me from attending.

3. I started college and stopped church.

2. Church members seemed too judgmental or hypocritical.

1. I simply wanted a break from church.

The #1 reason young people quit church is tragic – “I wanted a break from church.”
But why? I think maybe #2 causes #1.

Top 10 New Years Resolution Blogs

I don't go to the gym in January. I go 3-5 times per week the rest of the year, depending on my travel schedule. But never in January. It's just too crowded. But by early Feb, all the new year's resolution folks have given up on the perfect body, until next year.

I'm not much of a new year's resolution kind of guy. From my observation, most NYRs last about 2 weeks. My 2008 NYR is to try to remember and do at least a few of last year's resolutions.

If you are a NYR person, here are some good NYR blogs for you:

New Year's Resolutions of Bible Heroes by Bishop Jovie Galaraga.

New Year's Resolutions of Bible Heroes Part 2 also by Bishop JG.

Goals for 2008 by Perry Noble, who does goals not resolutions.

10 Steps to Setting Goals by Mark Batterson, who also does goals. 

New Year, New Start by Gary Lamb who is trying to get organized in 2008.

Starting Right & Finishing Strong by the Clueless Church Planter, Dennis Sy. While this blog may not technically be a NYR blog, it is close enough and worth reading. 

A New Leaf for a New Day by my friend, Mike Watkins from Kiev, Ukraine.

Hope Renewed by Myra Watkins, Mike's wife.

New Year's Resolution: God's Will Be Done by Ron Miller.

Top 10 New Year's Resolutions list. It's the same every year, which means no one did any of it last year.

As always, many of us are starting the year with a week of prayer, fasting and consecration. I'm blogging about it on my "accidental missionary" site.

Top 10 Books of 2007

In 2007 I read a pile of books. I’m usually reading two or three at a time. I keep one by my bed, one on my desk, one in my briefcase and a couple in my office.

Here are the top 10 books I read in 2007, in random order.

The Corporate Blogging Book – Debbie Weil 
The blogger’s bible.

When Crickets Cry - Charles Martin
Best novel I’ve read in a long long time.

Lone Survivor - Marcus Luttrell
True story. Don’t know if my non-American friends will appreciate this one, but I couldn’t put it down.

When Charity Destroys Dignity - Glenn J. Schwartz
Every missionary and every person who supports missions should read this one. Might be most important book on the subject I’ve ever read. 
 
I Am America, And So Can You - Stephen Colbert
Made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

Simple Church – Thom Rainer & Eric Geiger
Probably the most helpful book ever written on doing church.

Breaking the Missional Code - Ed Stetzer & David Putman
Probably the most helpful book ever written on doing church, besides Simple Church.

Natural Church Development – Christian Schwartz
Probably the most helpful book ever written on doing church, besides Simple Church and Breaking the Missional Code.

Confessions of a Reformissional Pastor – Mark Driscoll
Made me laugh, and wonder how he can get away with saying/writing things all pastors think, but are afraid to say.

Communicating for a Change – Andy Stanley
This one really helped my preaching - at least I think it did.

That’s my ’07 list. What are the best books you read in the past 12 months?

New post on the accidental missionary site - "2007 @ a Glance"

From Time to Eternity in ‘07

Last year I listed some people who died in 2006 with my comments. Here is my 2007 list. This is not necessarily a list of important people or world-changing people - just interesting people. Some are now in heaven. Some went into a Christ-less eternity. Here they are:

Evel Knievel – 69 – Hard-living bone-breaking daredevil who renounced the devil, and boldly talked about how Jesus changed his life in his later years.

Luciano Pavarotti – 71 – Tenor. Cancer.

Liz Claiborne – 78 – Clothes. Cancer.

Marcel Marceau – 84 – Mime.  Old.

Boris Yeltsin – 76 – Former Russian president who helped dismantle the Soviet Union. Heart failure.

Dan Fogelberg – 56 – Singer/songwriter icon of ‘70s soft-rock era. Prostate cancer. Danny F lived in my 8-track in my Camaro in high school.

Anna Nicole Smith – 39 – Celebrity. Drug overdose. Dead or alive - why is she always in the news? I just don’t get it. 

D. James Kennedy – 76 – Pastor, author, broadcaster and founder of Evangelism Explosion (EE). I got saved in ’76 when someone “EE’d” me. I had never heard a presentation of the gospel that made sense, until then.

Jerry Falwell – 73 – Mega-church pastor. Founder of Liberty University. Founder of Moral Majority political lobby with 6.5 million members. One of those love him or hate him kind of guys.

Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner – 65 – On-demand tears, big hair and mile-long eyelashes. Icon of '70s & '80s religious TV shows. 

Kurt Waldheim – 88 – Former United Nations secretary-general accused of Nazi war crimes. The UN must have the world’s greatest PR machine to still have an ounce of credibility after all the scandals involving their top leaders.

Seung-Hui Cho – 23 – Tormented student who murdered 32 students and faculty on the Virginia Tech campus. Stuff like this makes me want to be a campus missionary.

Paul Tibbets – 92 – Piloted the B-29 bomber that dropped The Bomb on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945. The plane, Enola Gay, was named after Tibbet’s mother. Who would name a bomber after their mother? Not sure my Mom would be flattered. 

Robert Cade – 80 – Univ of Florida researcher who invented Gatorade in ’65 to help to the Florida Gator athletes replace electrolytes lost through sweat. What if he had worked at Oregon or Oregon State? Not sure Beaverade or Duckade would have been as marketable as Gatorade.   

Benny Parsons – 65 – Taxi driver who became one of NASCAR’s 50 greatest drivers, winning 21 races. I’ve seen at least 1000 Filipino taxi drivers could do the same, if given the chance.

One thing is for sure - sooner or later, we will all die.

One question: will we be ready?   

Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment. - HEB 9:27

Top 10 Christmas Movie List (version 3.0)

I post something like this every December - the Murrell family Christmas movie favorites. Since there have not been many good Christmas movies in the past few years, the list looks about the same as last year's. If you need to get into the Christmas spirit just plug one of these into your DVD player, get a bowl of popcorn and relax. Here's our current top 10:

1. It's a Wonderful Life - THE Christmas classic. We usually save this one 'til New Year's Eve.

2. Miracle on 34th Street - The 1947 black and white edition, of course.

3. Christmas in Connecticut - Another black and white that puts Deborah and my sons to sleep, but I love it.

4. White Christmas - Where we have lived the past 23 years, white Christmas means Bora, and that's a good Christmas thought.

5. Die Hard 1 -The first color Christmas movie on my list. DH-1 qualifies because the whole movie took place during an office Christmas party.

6. Elf - I rarely like Will Farrell movies (Kicking & Screaming was the exception) but the opening Elf scene with Senior Elf (Bob Newhart) reading the intro story is worth the price of the DVD. The rest of the movie is pretty lame, but that first 5 minutes is classic.

7. Home Alone I or II - The "Wet Bandits" are some of my favorite big screen bad guys.
 
8. Santa Clause II - We love the Easter Bunny scene.

9. Jingle All the Way - Sinbad goes postal.

10. House Guest - This qualifies because Sinbad and Phil Hartman sang Christmas carols during the closing credits.

My Top 10 Heroes

My home church is doing a sermon series called Heroes, based on little-known characters in Hebrews 11. Maybe that is what sparked the recent hero blog-storm. I have not seen the TV show or heard the preaching series, but here are my current Top 10 heroes:

1. My wife. Anyone who could put up with me and follow me all over the world for 25 years is automatically elevated to hero status.

2. My Dad. West Texas tough. Hard-working. Self-made. Old-school discipline.  Successful in business, but still made his kids top priority. Not a religious bone in his body. But, met God at the end. I am who I am – for better and for worse – because of him.

3. My Mom. World’s kindest person. Vowed to stick with the tough Texan “for better and for worse” and did.

4. Ron Musselman. The legendary Presbyterian youth pastor who led me to the Lord and taught me how to follow Jesus.

5. Filipino missionaries. They serve in some of the most difficult and dangerous mission fields on the planet - Afghanistan, China, Vietnam, Middle East…and they do it with a smile. 

6. Youth Pastors. Volunteers or paid staff, these men and women are on the front-lines. See also, #4.

7. Campus Missionaries. Whether they are serving in a hostile war-torn nation, or on a hostile post-modern campus, they are heroes.

8. Church Planters. Toughest start-up job in the world.

9. Kid’s Ministry Volunteers. Most important volunteer job in the world. (THANKS!)

10. Compassion Ministry Workers. Whether they are caring for orphans in Africa, providing educational assistance in Manila, feeding the hungry in North Korea, teaching inner-city kids in America or providing free medical care in Kabul – the hundreds of Every Nation compassion ministry staff and volunteers are true heroes.

Who are your heroes?

(Heroes sermon series podcast HERE and HERE)

Top 10 Reasons I Don’t Drink Alcohol

To drink, or not to drink - that is the question that simply will not go away.

Disclaimer #1
I know there are different views on this subject. I respect people on both sides of the issue. I know some good Christians who drink, and I know some lousy Christians who don’t. And vice-versa.

Disclaimer #2
I am taking OFF my Every Nation and Victory Christian Fellowship hats, and putting on my husband/father hat to write this blog. These are my personal views - my opinions – my reasons for not drinking. This post is not about you; it’s about me, and my opinions.

Disclaimer #3
I am NOT saying drinking is a sin - that depends on the context, the amount and the motive. I AM saying that drunkenness is a sin – not a disease, a habit, an addiction.

Note: I did not grow up in a religious non-drinking home - exactly the opposite. My Dad was in the liquor business. He was good at it. Represented Barcardi, J&B and 25 others. He thought something was wrong with me when I refused to drink after I got saved as a teenager.

No one told me to stop my under-aged drinking. I just knew I should. And, I saw no reason to resume drinking simply because I had an 18th and a 21st birthday.

So, with that lengthy preamble, here are the current top 10 reasons I choose not to drink:

1.  My Taste Buds. People say beer is an “acquired taste.” Do you know why Coca-Cola is not? Because it actually tastes good. Why acquire a taste for something that tastes nasty?

2.  My Motive. I stopped trying to impress people with my drinking skills when I turned 16. Really. I did. And haven’t tasted alcohol since. No need. No desire. No one to impress. Nothing to prove. Remember, I’m talking about me, & my reasons, not you and yours.

3.  My Past. I already did the drinking thing and have no desire to bring that part of my past into my present or my future.

4.  My Culture. I am a missionary, church planter and pastor living in two cultures where public drinking is not exactly the acceptable norm for religious leaders - Catholic Philippines and conservative Evangelical Nashville. I do not live in a city where they baptize in beer, or in a nation where they brush their teeth with vodka. I have to respect the culture I live and minister in. I’m in a root beer and sweet tea church culture. Some things are OK biblically, but wrong culturally.

5.  My Job. See #4 and add this... I work with a church and ministry that focuses on youth. I am sick of seeing drunk teens wreck their cars and kill their friends. I choose to set a non-drinking example for every young person who might be looking. Unfortunately in our culture, non-drinking examples are about as rare as a Bigfoot sighting.

6.  My Fear. I don’t care what you call it - genetics, generational curses or bad domestic examples – all I know is that my family has had a pattern of alcohol abuse, and I fear that if I start, I will not know when to stop. I have no intention of getting delivered from that fear.

7.  My Wife. She does not want me to drink. So I don’t.

8.  My Bible - O.T. As I said in the disclaimer, I do not believe that it is a sin to drink. But I do believe that in certain situations it is irresponsible and foolish for leaders to drink. Proverbs 31:4 seems to warn LEADERS about drinking, saying that it is “not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer.”

9.  My Bible - N.T. Paul had a biblical right to eat pork chops, lechon and meat sacrificed to idols - but he didn’t – in certain settings. Likewise, I choose not to drink because...it is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else that will cause your brother to fall...therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall... (Rom 14:21, 1Cor 8:13) But that’s just me, and how I apply Paul’s words to my life.    

10.  My Family. I grew up in a home ripped apart by alcohol abuse. So did my wife. We decided 25 years ago that our home would be a no drinking zone. No regrets about that decision, and no intention of changing it.

Last thought - I’m not one of those mindless illiterate “theologians” who teach that Jesus turned water into grape soda. I realize that Paul told Timothy to drink a little wine, “because of your stomach and your frequent illness.” This instruction might have had something to do with the fact that it was sometimes difficult to find amoeba-free bottled water on his mission trips, so, for Timothy it was wiser to drink red wine than brown water. Therefore, if you find yourself on a mission trip with no bottled water available, then feel free to find some good wine and drink up. I'll have a Coke.

And finally, before you write back to correct my theology or to balance me – please re-read disclaimer #2, take a deep breath, relax, visit the pub, order an unsweetened iced tea, smile…then respond. I’d love to hear your opinion.

Cheers!